HIRI DAVID FEIGN

 
 

DeScripted

JUDY: A SCREAMPLAY

 

 

WRITTEN BY HIRI DAVID FEIGN

©2019 HIRI DAVID FEIGN

 

FADE IN:

 

EXT. HAUNTED HOTEL — 1966 — NIGHT

 

Lightning flashes, revealing an old stone mansion in the distance, covered in dead vines, with torrents of hard-driving rain.

 

DISSOLVE TO: 

 

The camera pans across an outside wall to reveal WHITHERS looking through the window from behind thick drapes. The rain against the glass warps her silhouette into a shadowy, menacing figure. Lightning flashes. Thunder roars. A deep, echoing door chime rings.

 

CUT TO:

 

INT. HAUNTED HOTEL VESTIBULE — LOOKING OUT TOWARD THE DRIVEWAY

 

A large wooden Spanish-Gothic door opens to reveal a medium CU of JUDY, 26, standing in the doorway, smiling broadly and wearing goggles. Behind her is a parked scooter in the rain.

 

JUDY

Hi!

 

The frame freezes as the film title appears and dramatic, lush music builds to a crescendo.

 

JUDY

©MMXV111 Hiriuku Cinema Productions

 

CUT TO:

 

CREDIT SEQUENCE

 

Action resumes again as we see JUDY entering a vestibule. Frightening portraits and stuffed birds covered in cobwebs grace the tattered walls. Ratty, dusty drapes conceal tall windows. An array of crematory urns line a shelf, accented with dead flowers in vases. 

 

JUDY wears a mod yellow rain slicker (though we’re watching in black-and-white), with a matching pull-down vinyl hat and built-in goggles. She carries a round makeup case in one hand, with a ukulele under her arm. Ankle-high gollashes cover her velvet flats. Draped in an X over her shoulders are an instamatic camera with flash cube, in leather case and strap, and a simple white purse. In the other hand she carries a large white suitcase. 

 

The door is held open by BEAKINS, a heavy-set middle-aged housekeeper and cook (played in this pretend-production by Hermione Baddeley). She wears a black uniform with white ruffled collar and a plain, dark wool sweater with signs of wear. Her right hand is useless and twisted, and she keeps it against her stomach.

 

Lightning flashes randomly as JUDY follows BEAKINS inside. The house is dark and foreboding, covered in cobwebs and dust. As the lightning flashes, scary shapes animate against the walls, doors, and paintings. 


JUDY puts down her things, pulls her wet goggles onto her forehead, and looks up and around.


CUT TO:


Low shot of JUDY glancing above her, thrilled, like she’s seeing Paris for the first time. 


JUDY:

It's GORGEOUS!


BEAKINS:

Follow me Miss.

 

They pass a huge staircase overlooked by an emormous stained-glass gothic window. In a beam of light, moths flutter. Lightning flashes, revealing the outline of an unseen skylight on the dusty marble floor, with the shadows of rats crawling across the glass above them. 

 

They walk down a long corridor. Lightning flashes and rain beats against the high windows. Dead trees cast menacing shapes onto the walls and floor. Closeup details of paintings reveal painted rats watching JUDY as she passes by. Their eyes follow her.


 

INT. HAUNTED HOTEL — STUDY

 

The credits end as BEAKINS knocks twice and opens two large moldy doors leading into a slightly less-cavernous chamber. Inside, a fireplace burns solemnly. 

 

Tall gothic windows conceal in silhouette the shape of an elderly matron in a high-backed Victorian chair, stroking a BLACK CAT. If this were the forties, WHITHERS would be played by Judith Anderson. Lightning flashes, thunder thunders.

 

 BEAKINS

(sourly)

Madam, she’s arrived. 

 

WHITHERS

(sourly)

Thank you BEAKINS, you’re dismissed.

(ominously)

But don’t… go too far. We’ll need you

to accompany our guest to her… room.

 

(“Room” is pronounced with two syllables — “Roo-um.”) 

 

BEAKINS

As you wish, Madam. I’ll be just

outside ‘ere, setting the traps.

Again.

(mutters to herself)

 

BEAKINS closes the doors and lightning flashes. JUDY, awestruck, puts down her luggage, takes off her camera and purse, and pours water out of her ukulele into a dead planter.

 

JUDY opens her rain jacket. Underneath she wears a posh high-waisted mini dress with a wide belt. As she pulls off her vinyl rain hat, JUDY's shoulder-length red hair plumps perfectly into shape with curls at the end.

 

WHITHERS

Come here and let me

look at you.

 

JUDY approaches cautiously. She giggles.

 

WHITHERS

Turn on that lamp, my dear,

so that I might see you better.

 

JUDY glances around and sees a fluorescent lamp on a writing desk. When she switches it on, the lamp sizzles and clicks into life. JUDY smiles and shivers, and holds out her hand.

 

JUDY

Hi there! I’m JUDY!

 

WHITHERS leans forward onto her cane without accepting the handshake. Her face falls into the light, with stark, bony cheeks and dark sunglasses. Her black-and-silver hair is braided and she wears a full-length black satin mourning gown, with a short black-laced shawl around her shoulders, accented by tiny sparkling rhinestones.

 

WHITHERS

Are these… all your things?

  

JUDY

Yes Ma’am. I brought my ukelele too.

D’ya dig hootenannies?

 

THE CAT on WHITHERS’ lap hisses. JUDY backs off, startled. 

 

WHITHERS

He likes you.

 

 

JUDY

Terrific! And me like you too widdle puddums!

Yes yes I do!

 

Look at puss. Puss puss puss. Give us a…

 

WHITHERS

(stomps her cane):

Silence!

 

JUDY

Yes, ma’am. Sorry.

 

JUDY wipes a wayward bang away from her eyes.

 

THE CAT hisses again.

 

WHITHERS

Breakfast is at eight. So is dinner.

 

JUDY

Breakfast eight am, dinner eight pm. Got it. Thank you.

 

WHITHERS

(pounds her cane again)

No! Stupid girl! Just am!

 

We eat breakfast and dinner at the same time.

Eight am!

 

JUDY

Yes, ma’am. Breakfast and dinner at eight. am. 

I’m sure it’ll be delicious.

 

WHITHERS

Not if I can help it.

 

THE CAT hisses again, and jumps from her lap, past JUDY and into a dark corner. We see a sofa and a two-story bookshelf, covered in cobwebs.

 

WHITHERS

On Sundays, we order Chinese.

 

JUDY

Yes ma’am.

 

WHITHERS

Did you bring toiletries?

 

JUDY

Uh huh. All that.

Shampoo, soap, toothpaste. Yes.

 

WHITHERS

We don’t provide them you know.

You’ll need your own towels too.

We don’t believe in coddling our guests!

 

JUDY

Yes ma’am. I understand.

 

WHITHERS

We do sell them if you need any.

 

JUDY

I’m good.

 

WHITHERS

There’s a special on shampoo. Prell.

Two for one.

 

JUDY

Got enough. Thanks.

 

WHITHERS

Now remember: we have a reputation

to uphold. So keep your room tidy.

We don’t like unkempt young ladies. 

 

JUDY

Oh, I’m kempt, big time kempt. Extremely.

Just tidy as a cricket.

 

SFX: A cricket chirps, and JUDY looks around.

 

WHITHERS

Now I’ll have BEAKINS show you to your room.

 

WHITHERS rings a handbell.

 

JUDY

Terrific! I have been so looking

forward to living here!

 

WHITHERS

We don’t like to use such terms.

 

JUDY

Your brochure said there’s a pool?

 

WHITHERS

It’s an old brochure.

 

JUDY’s smile fades.

 

Lightning flashes. Suddenly BEAKINS is beside JUDY, startling her. JUDY giggles.

 

WHITHERS

Now before you go, be forewarned!

 

JUDY

Uh-huh!?

 

WHITHERS

There are things in this house that

should have stayed buried, unspeakable terrors

that have been awakened in the darkness

of night, in this house, in these rooms,

long before I became its mistress.

 

Don’t go snooping about in the darkness,

you'll never know what you might find.

But if you must snoop, we have candles

for sale if you need them.

 

WHITHERS gestures toward a standing display with price tags.

 

JUDY

I’m ok.

 

Um, now just what… uh, sort of

things should have stayed buried,

if you don’t mind me asking?

 

WHITHERS

We can’t always rid ourselves of the

past, now can we, even after a series

of very expensive exorcisms?

 

JUDY

(confused)

No ma’am, I... I suppose not.

 

WHITHERS

This house is old, older than you

might imagine. It’s seen the ravages of time,

wars, conquests, murders, doomed romances,

and mysterious disappearances. Once or twice

even a movie actor or two might have slept

here — quote-unquote "by chance," on the same night.

 

Century after century this house has

changed hands. First it was owned by the Moors.

Then it became a residence hall for ex-vikings.

For awhile, it was a bowling alley and cafeteria,

until a poisoning disaster struck.

There’ve been mergers, selloffs, acquisitions,

and corporate restructuring, each slightly

changing the dreaded tenor of this once-great house.

 

But still it stands defiantly, as

a testament to what malice and horror

can leave behind in their wicked wake.

The secrets that this house holds remain

constant, and they shall never die.

 

Except now our lease is owned by a multinational

holding company called Mrs. Goodcookie.

 

Lightning flashes, thunder booms.

 

JUDY

Ooh, they’re terrifying! I got my

student loan with them and they were just…

 

WHITHERS

(interrupting):

Some who stay here say they feel

uneasy, sickened, some report a sense of

dread and foreboding, even terror, some say.

Some who’ve stayed here never return. I don't

know why. I do my best to make it feel homey.

 

Suddenly JUDY notices a raven on the bookshelf.

 CUT TO:

THE RAVEN

Tonight you die!

 

CUT TO:

WHITHERS stands up and walks toward the fireplace with her cane.

WHITHERS

It’s this infernal place. This house is angry,

it manifests evil. It puts us all on edge.

What bitter secrets have been awakened

now by fate, by your very presence here,

who knows what might be unleashed in this house,

in these rooms, after all these centuries,

with its almost unworkable, ancient wiring

and abysmal plumbing.


CUT TO:

 

BEAKINS 

We have that in common.

CUT TO:

 

WHITHERS

Beakins, take our new guest to her room.

Then bring me my cocoa.

And don't poison it this time!


CUT TO:

 

BEAKINS 

Yes, mum. If you insist.

Follow me, Miss.

CUT TO:

 

WHITHERS

(sourly)

And Beakins…


CUT TO:

 

BEAKINS 

Yes mum?


CUT TO:

 

WHITHERS

Put a marshmallow in it. A big one. 

CUT TO:

 

BEAKINS 

Of course, mum.


CUT TO:

2-SHOT of BEAKINS and JUDY.

 

JUDY

(picking up her luggage, to WHITHERS)

Thanks so much! You’ve been just fantastic!

I mean it. I’m just so happy! See you

tomorrow at breakfast-dinner!

 

JUDY

(to BEAKINS as they’re leaving the room):

I love what you’ve done with this place.

It’s gorgeous!

 

BEAKINS 

It’s a lot to take care of, Miss. Mind the traps.

 

JUDY

Terrific!

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

INT. GREAT HALL ENTRANCEWAY 

 

BEAKINS and JUDY begin climbing the long and winding staircase. After a few more dissolves later they reach the landing for the first floor.

 

From the end of the landing, we see a huge arched window looking down a long corridor. Lightning flashes.  Menacing sounds of horror grow all around them. Blood drips from the walls.

 

As they walk down the hallway, behind them, unnoticed by JUDY, IRENE THE GHOST LADY, a see-through woman with long hair and white nightgown, carrying a lollipop, crosses through one wall and into the opposite wall.

 

Lightning flashes again.

 

A vicious cursed, growling sound emanates from a doorway as they pass by.

 

JUDY

Where’s that horrible growling sound emanating from?

 

BEAKINS 

It’s Mrs. ‘atchet, Miss. Gastric distress.

 

SFX: A hideous scream is heard.

 

JUDY

I can’t wait to meet her!

 

BEAKINS 

We get a lot like ‘er ‘ere.

Fine when they come in,

Then it starts in on ‘em, the runs

and the cramps you might say.

I think it might be me cooking.

Discount lard.

 

As they pass a room, the doorway opens slightly and inside, pupil-less eyes glow in the darkness, but JUDY is looking in the other direction.

 

JUDY

Are there many other ladies

living here now?

 

They pass a room with an open door. Inside IRENE THE GHOST LADY stands in a bloody bridal dress holding a dripping axe and the head of her groom.

  

BEAKINS 

Living, Miss? A few, just a few.

 

JUDY

They must love it here! I know I will!

 

They pass by an open door. Inside, a coven of witches dance around a pentagram with candles on the floor.

 

JUDY

Oh you have dance classes!

 

BEAKINS looks at her oddly.

 

JUDY

What fun!

 

They pass another open doorway, and JUDY looks in. A fanged DEMON CHILD sits alone in a high chair, gnawing on a human leg.

 

JUDY

Oh look, there’s children here too?

 

BEAKINS

Yes Miss. Just the one.

Don’t try ’n feed ‘im though.

‘e’s a very picky eater. 

 

JUDY waves at the DEMON CHILD, who’s licking the bone clean.

 

JUDY

HI!

 

The DEMON CHILD hisses and its eyes glow.

 

JUDY

He’s adorable!

 

They walk past THE RAVEN atop a marble bust. It glares ominously down upon them.

 

BEAKINS 

Don’t mind the raven, Miss,

‘e’s evil, pure evil if ya know what I mean.

 

JUDY

Oh my goodness.

 

BEAKINS 

Your goodness indeed, Miss.

 

THE RAVEN watches them pass by.

 

BEAKINS 

Don’t engage ‘im Miss. He’ll destroy yer mind.

 

Raven

Aye yer daft!

 

BEAKINS 

See what I mean? He’s cruel, Miss.

He’s so cruel.

 

Now here’s yer room, nice and cheery like.

You should find it quite comfortable.

 

BEAKINS opens the door. Lightning flashes, thunder roars. The room is dilapidated, dark and creepy. Black mold covers the walls. Water drips from the ceiling into a huge hole in the floor. The four-poster bed has a ripped velvet awning.

 

JUDY

Oh my gosh, it’s better

than I ever imagined!

I feel just like a princess!

 

MUSIC CUE: As she drops her bags and runs to the window, an orchestral crescendo builds to a crash.

 

Outside is a graveyard with several open graves. Through the rainy window, two bent figures can be seen pulling a casket from the ground. 

 

Beyond that, in an abandoned old church, candlelight passes behind a broken stained-glass window. 

 

A wolf howls in the distance. Lightning flashes.

 

JUDY

It’s derr-reeamy!

 

As JUDY turns away there are faces at the window. When she turns around to look out again, they disappear.

 

JUDY

And you get to live here too?!

For Free? Like all the time?

 

BEAKINS 

Been ‘ere… a long time Miss, yes.

(darkly)

Too… long.

 

JUDY

It seems a bit chilly in here.

How do I turn up the heat?

 

BEAKINS 

Don’t worry yerself, Miss.

I’ll attend to it.

 

BEAKINS waddles over to the fireplace and moves around the logs with an iron poker.

 

We see JUDY at the window. As she turns to look at BEAKINS, the faces reappear behind her.

 

Suddenly a huge ball of fire explodes from the fireplace, dying down quickly into a crackling inferno.

 

Spiders flee the flue.

 

JUDY

Oh, how nice. Thanks so much!

 

BEAKINS 

I’ll leave ya be, then, Miss.

If ya need anything, just pull this ‘ere cord.

 

BEAKINS pulls the cord.

SFX: A man’s traumatic screaming sounds.

 

JUDY

Oh that’s Lovely.

 

BEAKINS 

Yes Miss it is Lovely. It’s ‘is new album,

Lovely Screams In The Night, Volume 2.

'ave you 'eard it yet, Miss?

 

JUDY

Heard it! I bought six copies!

 

BEAKINS

I - I just love Mr. Lovely.

A rock 'n' roll genius, he is.

 

JUDY 

Did you see his last tour?

My friend flashed her boobs!

 

BEAKINS 

Me too, Miss, me too. 'Twas a grand

show, weren’t it?

 

JUDY

His best yet!

 

BEAKINS 

I was in the first row at ‘is

concert ‘ere in town.

It’s how I got me arm

crushed for life.

 

JUDY

Oh dear!

 

BEAKINS 

Don’t worry yerself over it none,

sweet missy. Twas worth it. Twas brilliant to be

so close to genius. He spat at me.

 

JUDY

Sweet!

 

BEAKINS 

I’ll never wash me eye sockets again.

 

BEAKINS blinks involuntarily.

There’s an awkward pause.

 

BEAKINS 

Well, I’ll be goin’ now.

 

JUDY

Oh, thank you BEAKINS, for everything!

You’re the best! I mean it. Really.

 

BEAKINS 

(sourly)

As you say, Miss.

 

BEAKINS closes the door and JUDY is alone in the dark and creepy chamber.

 

She  wanders around, taking off her slicker and boots, revealing velvet flats. She hangs the slicker and cap on a standing coat rack.  

 

She wanders through the room, looking around. She pulls a book from a shelf, and when she opens it the pages break into dust. She claps her hands to get rid of the dust, and coughs.

 

Looking out the window again, she sniffs the air and scowls. She opens the window slightly, but the smell gets worse. She closes the window and bolts the lock.


JUDY walks across the room to the Lovely cord. She pulls it, eliciting the Lovely scream.

 

JUDY

Oh BEAKINS!

CUT TO:

 

BEAKINS is walking downstairs when she hears the wail. She turns around and huffs back up the stairs toward the room.

 

BEAKINS 

(mumbling to herself):

I’m gettin’ right damn sick of that

song to tell the god’s honest

truth of it.

 

CUT TO:

 

BEAKINS opens the door and walks back into the room.

 

BEAKINS 

Yes, Miss. You pulled the Lovely cord?

 

JUDY

Beakins, what’s that awful stench?

 

BEAKINS 

Which awful stench is that, Mum?

 

JUDY

The... uh — wait, there's more than one? 

 

BEAKINS 

It’s a potpourri Miss.

Frankly with the clientele here,

awful smells are the least of me worries.

Can you mayhaps describe it fer me now? 

 

JUDY

Well I don’t know. How does one describe

a smell? It smells like, uh,

I don’t know, um, EWWW!!

 

BEAKINS

I see Miss. Let me ask ya another question now. Would ya be describing it perhaps as a distinct EWWW smell, or might you say it be more like an UGH (she makes gagging sound and shivers) smell.


JUDY

Well, something of both, actually.


BEAKINS 

Oh, per’aps you mean the Hideous

Stench of Mrs. Moira Pasternack.

 

JUDY

Um, yeah, that one, I guess.

 

BEAKINS

(darkly)

We don’t charge extra for it,

the smell comes with the room.

 

JUDY

But I don’t want it!

 

BEAKINS 

Can’t be helped. It’s Mrs. Pasternack, Ma’am.

She lived in this house for nigh on thirty years,

and every day, her smell got worse. We bathed

her in everything from holy water to hair spray,

but nothing stopped it, her menacing odor.

Nice as she could be too, hygenic and all, if you

know what I mean. Peach as punch if ya

get me drift. But her odor, it was evil Miss,

like it had a mind of its own. 

 

Worse and worse it went, just like that,

the smell kept on growing meaner and nastier,

day after rainy awful day. Meaner and meaner her

vicious stench became. For decades it went

on like that, with the horrific aura of odor

about her person, just growing more

and more ugly all the time.

 

Until finally…

 

JUDY

Yes!?

 

BEAKINS 

It consumed ‘er.

 

JUDY

Consumed her? What do you mean?

 

BEAKINS 

The painful stench of death finally

took her, m’lady, God rest her poor soul.

Like some demented curse it was, suffocating her.

Right there during breakfast-dinner it happened too.

Took her then and there, between the

cornflakes and roast duck.

 

JUDY

That’s terrible! I’m so sorry.

But the smell…

 

BEAKINS 

She’s dead and buried, Miss, but her odor

lingers on like a demon from hell. Sometimes

it wafts across from the east tower.

That’s where we put ‘er, in ‘er final

years, in the east tower, over there.


We used a pulley system to pass her trays over,

whatever the stinkin' weather.

 

Lightning flashes.

 

BEAKINS 

Anybody went over to that side of the house,

never recovered. The smell drove ‘em mad,

each and every one.

 

We called in the best the holy church

could give us, Miss. A whole team of priests,

the most elite exorcists you could ever find.

One had a ferrari and a pet seal.

We spent a fortune.

 

But it tweren’t enough, Miss.

Her odor lives on without her, and we’ve had

no peace since we buried ‘er stinkin’ carcass

in the bog nie on twenty long years

ago this very night.

 

It’s an ominous place, is the the bog.

Don’t ya go wanderin about in there now Missy.

 

But if ya do, we have a sweet nightie

and torches for sale downstairs.

 

JUDY

I’m good. Thank you.

 

BEAKINS 

She’s dead now, is old Mrs. Pasternack,

God rest her. But her hideous stench lives on,

and not a sainted soul here’s had a decent

night’s sleep since. Again, I’m concerned it

might be me own cookin.’

 

Well, g’night Miss. Happy dreams.

 

JUDY

Goodnight BEAKINS. Thanks so much! I mean it!

 

BEAKINS leaves, and JUDY wanders around the room again. 

 

From her jacket on the coat rack, she pulls out a transister radio. She switches it on and dials to a mid-sixties pop station.

 

JUDY sits on the bed, humming to herself softly.

Lightning flashes, thunder roars. A woman’s creepy portrait looks down on her, its eyes moving. A rat scurries against the floorboard. Water drips onto the moldy carpet.

 

She lays back upon the bed for a moment and stretches. As she sits up again, the blade of a guillotine falls where her neck would have been. JUDY doesn't notice.

 

JUDY

Sweet gravy, AM I gonna LOVE THIS PLACE!

 

FADE TO BLACK 

 


END CREDITS SEQUENCE 

 

After the credits, fade in to long shot of the house,

with lightning flashing in the driving rain.

 

Pan across a gate and stone wall to an outdoor neon sign,

several letters blinking sadly.

 

MISS EVERSOUL’S

HAUNTED HOTEL

OF HORROR

FOR WOMEN

__

REASONABLE RATES

__

FRANCHISES

AVAILABLE

 

SFX: Mrs. Hatchet screaming.

 

FADE TO BLACK

 

FIN